Unveiling the Heartbreak of a Dementia Diagnosis with David Shepherd

Alzheimer's is a heart-wrenching disease that inflicts relentless pain and sorrow on both you and your loved one. Witnessing the gradual decline of someone close to you can leave you feeling helpless and devastated. With each passing day, it feels as though you are not only losing a part of them but also a part of you. One of the most agonising parts is the beginning before their diagnosis, when you don’t know that there’s anything wrong and the weight of the unknown bears down on you. I had the privilege of speaking with David Shepherd whose wife lives with a Dementia at Heanton Nursing Home in Barnstaple and he wanted to share his story with you today.

In the two or three years before my wife, Catriona’s, diagnosis it was challenging. Initially, I didn't think there was anything medically wrong and I still carry enormous guilt that I didn’t realise sooner. I found I often got angry and frustrated when Catriona forgot things, I just thought she wasn’t concentrating but needless did I know she was already struggling, and my reactions must have made things even scarier for her. One day she drove to the supermarket and couldn’t park the car, I really didn’t understand why, but it became more apparent that there was an underlying issue. The struggle was in getting her to admit it and accept that she needed to see the doctor. It took over 6 months of gentle persuasion to take Catriona to her first appointment. 

Catriona was finally diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s in 2014 after a long and tortuous process. When we received the diagnosis, I felt an overwhelming surge of emotions. I was filled with what felt like a torrential downpour of desperation mingled with a glimmer of relief. The desperation I felt within me came with floods of tears, as I knew that this cruel illness would relentlessly steal away the person I love and cherish. Catriona never really accepted that she had the illness and so life continued to be a struggle and I felt that I was walking on eggshells every time we came close to talking about it.

Everything changes when your partner has Alzheimer’s. Eventually, you become a full-time carer – and that really does mean 24 hours a day. It’s exhausting but I had no choice, Catriona wasn’t safe to be left on her own for a moment. By that point, you can’t go out because they can’t go out. My world became as small as hers – just our four walls.

We were fortunate that the diagnosis took place at the National Hospital for Neurosurgery in London, as they are the experts in dementia. After the diagnosis, we had some time with a nurse, who gave us guidance on what to expect, where to go for support and answered any questions we had, it was very comprehensive. We had twice-a-year appointments at the hospital, and visits from various people from the local Memory Clinic, to monitor the progress of the condition, and Catriona even got involved in some research projects. We were directed to a local charity that specialised in young people living with a Dementia, which provided a helpful support group along with activities for Catriona.

When we embarked on our journey to move to Devon in 2015, the level of support drastically changed. My heart sank as we walked into the office of our new GP, with hope filling our hearts for a similar level of help. We poured out our worries and concerns, seeking assistance, but the words that came from the GP struck us with devastation, leaving us shattered and disheartened. The GP said there was nothing he could do to help other than signpost us to the Alzheimer's Society. So, life continued on, taking each day as they came trying to live as normal life as we possibly could.

In the summer of 2020, I made the heartbreaking decision to move Catriona into a Care Home which was one of the toughest decisions I’ve ever had to make. It came to a point, the place we had called home for many years, a place full of love and memories, our sanctuary, was no longer the safest place for her. Due to her increasing mobility and balance issues, I knew that I had to find a home to keep her safe, but this was at the height of the COVID-19 Lockdown. It meant that I couldn't visit the home beforehand to see what it was like, but, far worse, it meant that once she was led away from me, from the garden at Heanton Nursing Home, I would not be seeing her again for many, many weeks. That remains engraved in my memory as the saddest, toughest day of my life.

The team at Heanton arranged video calls that offered a glimpse into her world, but in truth, those virtual encounters could never replace the warmth of her presence, the touch of her hand and the comfort of being by her side. I would sometimes find myself by the river in Bideford, looking up and across in the direction of Heanton and thinking about her, wondering how she was and what she was doing.

Once visits were possible, that definitely helped me deal with the transition, as it started to lift some of the guilt that I was feeling about having sent her off to live in a care home. The recent relaxation on the rules about having to wear a mask has really helped - Catriona was able to see my face again for the first time in over 2 years, and that helped her recognise me, I hope, and certainly led to more of her warm smiles.

Navigating the journey of caring for a loved one living with a dementia is undeniably challenging. Despite the heart-wrenching moments and the profound changes that Alzheimer's brings, we cherish the memories and the unwavering strength human connection can bring to us.

Heanton Nursing Home, wholeheartedly understands the immense struggles that Alzheimer's disease brings to the lives of those affected and their loved ones. David visits Catriona most days, sometimes bringing his band to play music which brings solace and joy to her and other family members within the home. At Heanton, our commitment extends beyond our family members; we embrace the opportunity to be a guiding light for their loved ones, offering unwavering support as they navigate the complex and emotional journey Alzheimer’s brings.

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To find out more about Heanton Nursing Home 

visit www.heantonnursinghome.com

Heanton Nursing Home, Heanton, Barnstaple EX31 4DJ - Tel: 01271 813744

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Retelling Her-story: a new ceramics exhibition at the Burton

Retelling Her-story: a new ceramics exhibition at the Burton explores the role of women in contemporary society and the history of art

A fascinating and thought-provoking exhibition of work by Jam Westwood, a ceramicist and conceptual artist from the North East of England, opens at the Burton on Saturday 17 June.

Jam Westwood was recently interviewed by Grayson Perry on Channel 4 as part of the third season of Grayson's Art Club.

Don’t Look At My Jugs… And Other Stories is an exhibition of re-imagined historical artefacts that explores the reality of the everyday experience of women in society today. It’s an exhibition that throws light onto the physical, social, professional and domestic injustices encountered on a daily basis. It also asks us to question whether society is as progressive as we might think.

Dealing with often heavy and challenging subject matters, Jam Westwood’s work is actually full of lightness, humour and playfulness to delight audiences. There’s an ultimate message of hope too.

Featuring a collection of carefully crafted vessels, vases, bowls and coins, these are pieces that wouldn’t initially look out of place in a traditional museum cabinet. Yet a closer inspection tells a very different story.

We see works that celebrate the menstrual cycle and the various different experiences of the menopause. There are also works that reclaim the derogatory terms that have been used to insult women throughout history alongside works that challenge gender stereotypes and toxic masculinity.

Many of the finished works have been deliberately broken or chipped. This gives them the gravitas of age while also alluding to the repeated injury and damage done to women throughout history. It also speaks of the artist’s desire to break taboos and disrupt the dominant narrative in which the female voice can be hard to hear.

Don’t Look At My Jugs… And Other Stories is an arresting exhibition that asks us to look at how we live. What is the history we are writing? What is the history we want to be a part of?

Don’t Look At My Jugs… And Other Stories opens on 17 June and runs until 19 September.

There is opportunity to meet the artist in person at the gallery on Saturday 17 June, 2pm.

The gallery, museum and shop are open daily. Admission is free.

 

Tell Me Again© Jam Westwood

Menses (The Period God) © Jam Westwood

 

Queen Jane of Faceburgh © Jam Westwood

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Edenmore Nursing Home in Ilfracombe Enjoyed a Hawaiian Themed Party to Celebrate National BBQ Week

Edenmore Nursing Home in Ilfracombe enjoyed a Hawaiian-themed party put on by the team to celebrate National BBQ Week. Residents, along with staff dressed up in Hawaiian outfits to get into the party spirit ready for the celebrations to begin.

Residents, who are fondly referred to as family members, spent the day partying away whilst tucking into their delicious food cooked on the BBQ by the chefs at the nursing home. There was an array of mocktails and vegetarian dishes for family members to also enjoy.

Home Manager, Gayle Cooper, joined in on the fun and said, “The family members had a lovely day with some of them wanting to dress in Hawaiian-style clothing and joining in with Hawaiian dancing.”

Edenmore Nursing Home is a Nursing Home based in Ilfracombe North Devon. Their approach to life recognises the importance of creating a home that represents a true continuation of life for each individual living within the home.

To find out more about Edenmore Nursing Home 

visit www.edenmorenursinghome.com

HEANTON NURSING HOME IN BARNSTAPLE TAKE RESIDENT FOR A GAME OF BADMINTON

John Miles who is fondly referred to as Rex from Heanton Nursing Home, enjoyed a game of Badminton along with team members during a recent outing. The game began with Rex taking the first drop shot and he enjoyed some smashes with his opponent.

Noufal, one of the Team Members accompanying described the moment as being simply amazing “Rex didn't take his eyes off the game, and he even told me to be quiet as he was not able to focus! He was impressed by the quality of his fellow players.”

Being involved within the local community and encouraging the continuation of past interests is part of the ethos at the North Devon nursing home. Creating shared experiences that bring together companionship, laughter, and a deeper sense of connection for individuals living with a Dementia.

Occupational activities are not just pastimes they are pathways to joy, fulfilment, and bring a sense of purpose to family members, living at the nursing home to create a true sense of continuation of life. These activities encompass a wide range of interests, from arts and crafts to gardening, music, games, and so much more. They promote engagement, stimulate cognitive abilities, and foster social connections, creating an environment full of personalities and Individuality. 

To find out more about Heanton Nursing Home 

visit www.heantonnursinghome.com

Heanton Nursing Home, Heanton, Barnstaple EX31 4DJ - Tel: 01271 813744

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10th anniversary celebrates growth of Coronation Meadows

Ten years ago, the former Prince of Wales launched Coronation Meadows in 2013 to honour the 60th year of the late Queen’s accession to the throne.

In the face of the catastrophic loss of 97% of our wildflower meadows since the 1930s, the plan was to create new and restored meadows using donor seed from remaining fragments of ancient and traditional meadows.

The Wildlife Trusts and Plantlife – charities for whom the former Prince of Wales was patron – worked together to identify 60 species-rich meadows which are known as Coronation Meadows, one for every year of the Queen’s reign at that time. These special places became donors to provide precious seed to increase the amount of valuable and beautiful wildflower habitat elsewhere.

Dunsdon National Nature Reserve, near Holsworthy, was chosen as Devon’s Coronation Meadow. The 63 hectare site is owned and managed by the conservation charity Devon Wildlife Trust. Its network of Culm grassland fields support a rich mix of wildflowers including lesser butterfly orchids, ragged robin and bird’s foot trefoil. These in turn are home to a huge range of insects from bumblebees to the rare marsh fritillary butterfly.

The Wildlife Trusts and Plantlife charities have now conducted a national audit of the success of the project which reveals that a fantastic 101 new wildflower meadows have been created or restored since the Coronation Meadows project began a decade ago.

The charities are delighted that the Coronation Meadows project has increased the number of wildflower meadows and benefitted a vast array of wildlife, from bees and butterflies to bats and birds. The area is still expanding as the charities continue to harvest and spread the wildflower seed in localities close to the original sites so that the distinctive character of each area’s flora is preserved.

Biffa Award, through the Landfill Communities Fund, contributed £1million to fund the equipment and training needed for meadow restorations. In the first three years of the project alone, more than 700 volunteers gave their time to get the project off the ground. Seed was harvested from Coronation Meadows donor sites either as green hay, brush harvested seed or by hand, and this was used to seed second sites in the same area.

Steve Hussey of Devon Wildlife Trust, says:
“We’re very proud of Dunsdon National Nature Reserve’s status as Devon’s Coronation Meadow. It makes for a beautiful place to visit at this time of year.

More than 90% of Devon’s Culm grassland meadows have disappeared over the past 75 years, but at Dunsdon wildlife still flourishes in its full colourful range of wildflowers and butterflies.

The award of Coronation Meadow status has helped us spread Dunsdon’s good influence. Each year we’ve harvested some of the seeds from its meadows and spread them on other grassland sites nearby, enriching their plant diversity and giving local wildlife an important boost.”

Craig Bennett, chief executive of The Wildlife Trusts, says:
“The expansion of our beautiful wildflower meadows is a wonderful legacy for communities everywhere to enjoy. The magnificent sight of wild orchids shimmering in a field of delicate wild grasses in the afternoon sun to the hum of bees is something that everyone deserves to experience and enjoy.

“As the nature and climate crises deepen, we must be bold if we want to reverse declines and help revive our meadow heritage. Ancient meadows have evolved alongside traditional farming methods over hundreds of years. Many of these have been selected as Local Wildlife Sites because of the rare and threatened plants that are found there but they have limited protection in planning policy. The next review of the National Planning Policy Framework later this year must see their protection strengthened. We also need to see greater support for wildflower meadows in the new farm environment schemes – it is critical that farmers are rewarded for restoring locally distinctive natural habitats where wild plants can thrive.”

 

To find out more about Dunsdon – Devon’s Coronation Meadow – go to the nature reserve pages of Devon Wildlife Trust’s website www.devonwildlifetrust.org

 

 

Marsh fritillary butterfly, one of the rare species that Devon’s Coronation Meadow supports. Photo credit Chris Root

Dunsdon National Nature Reserve, Devon’s Coronation Meadow. Photo credit Sam Rose

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For more information, see http://coronationmeadows.org.uk The original Coronation Meadows project brought together Plantlife, The Wildlife Trusts and the Rare Breeds Survival Trust, to celebrate surviving meadows, create new ones and encourage people to discover and enjoy their local special places for wildflowers.

 

For more information on The Wildlife Trusts, Plantlife, Biffa Award

The Burton at Bideford seeks new Trustees to help grow the arts and culture in North Devon

The Burton at Bideford has been a registered charity since 2016 and is currently looking to recruit new Trustees to the Board.

With North Devon highlighted as a priority area by the government for arts funding, there’s no better time to get involved.

The role of Trustee is very rewarding, providing an opportunity to give something back to your local community and the arts in the South West. We are happy to receive applications from experienced Trustees or those who are new to the role of Trustee.

The Burton would particularly like to receive applications from potential Trustees with an interest in and experience of the arts, and with a fundraising, finance, legal or education background. However, applications are welcome from anyone who feels that they have skills and experience to offer the Burton.

The Burton also welcome applications from people who are currently underrepresented in the UK arts sector. This includes those who identify as D/deaf, disabled, LGBTQIA+, neurodivergent; those from lower socio-economic backgrounds or living or working in areas of socio-economic deprivation; as well as people from diverse ethnic backgrounds and marginalised groups.

As well as being a registered charity, the Burton also became an Arts Council Funded National Portfolio Organisation in 2018 and has recently had confirmation of another three years of funding for 2023-2026. We pride ourselves on offering an exciting programme of exhibitions as well as a wide range of other activities including developing educational work, outreach activities, workshops, supporting local artists, volunteers and making the Burton a wonderful place to visit for the whole community as well as visitors to the area.

We are looking for three new Trustees to join our Board.  

Full details including how to apply is available on our website:

www.burtonartgallery.co.uk/vacancies 

Queries about the role should be directed to chair@theburton.org

The Burton at Bideford Art Gallery and Museum are open daily. Admission is free.
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The Burton at Bideford, Kingsley Road, Bideford, Devon EX39 2QQ