It’s so important
that their space reflects them as a person, surrounding them with the things
that really matter to them, both emotionally and physically. What might matter
deeply to a person is often shaped over the course of a life, through the
people they love, the places they’ve visited and the experiences that have
stayed with them.
Spending time
with Jillian, a family member (resident) at Edenmore Nursing Home, it was clear
to see how the environment around her reflected the person she is and the
things that continue to matter to her today.
Early Life on the
Farm
Born in 1938,
Jillian was just one year old when the war started. Her family lived on a farm
in Powys, Wales, and her father was a sheep farmer. Her mother was a homemaker,
taking care of the household and raising the children. Jillian had an older
brother, and later, she would have two younger sisters. She remembers her
parents to be generous and kind people. She doesn’t recall too much of being
very young but shares, ‘I’m sure I was sometimes naughty like any child!’
During the war,
she remembers prisoners of war coming to work on the farm from a nearby camp.
She shares that they were lovely, ‘They just wanted to go back to their
families, who they missed very much. My parents were very kind and really took
them in. They also helped them send packages of food back to their loved ones.’
School,
Friendship and a Love of French
When she was
seven or eight years old, the family moved to a farm in Ombersley,
Worcestershire. There she attended a private school in Worcester called
Sunnyside, where she became friends with some girls who she remains in contact
with still today. From her school days she still remembers how afraid they were
of the headmistress, ‘I’m sure she was a perfectly nice lady, but she was
strict and scared us.’
Jillian became
pen pals with a girl in Paris around this time, and the two ended up doing an
exchange and visiting each other’s homes and living with their families for a
few weeks. She loved it, and her pen pal’s family were very friendly and
welcoming and took her around Paris.
As she moved
through school, her favourite subject unsurprisingly became French. She also
loved athletics, particularly running and high jumping and even competed at
national level.
University,
Marriage and Family Life
When she had
completed school, she went on to study French at Cardiff University. This was
where she met her future husband, Bill, who was also studying. He was from
Aberdeen and had sadly lost both his parents but had a very lovely uncle and
aunt. Jillian and Bill married when she was twenty-three and moved to
Maidenhead, in time having their two children, Tim and Bethany.
Jillian went on
to teach French at a grammar school. The students were, for the most part very
engaged and well behaved. But there was of course the odd one or two difficult
pupils who made mean comments to make everyone laugh and played the class
clowns. One of the things Jillian loved most about her teaching role was the
friendships she grew with the other teaching staff.
Later, they began
to move around a lot for Bill’s work, living in Brussels and even Connecticut
for a while, before moving back to the UK. During this time, she continued to
teach French through tutoring. She describes their marriage simply: “We got on
very well, we had a lot of the same interests and friends. Of course, no one is
perfect, but I can’t remember any real problems.”
When they moved
to England, Jillian worked for several years at a Waterstones in Windsor. She
loved to read and so really enjoyed working there, and she was responsible for
setting up open readings with authors when they were promoting their new books.
Through this role she met several famous authors, including Sir David
Attenborough! She still remembers the queues of people waiting outside for
their signed copies of books.
Moving into
Edenmore
In later life,
Jillian was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease. As she began to need more
support, she moved into Edenmore Nursing Home, close to where her son, Tim,
lives. Tim visits often and regularly brings his two dogs with him, who jump up
onto Jillian’s bed to say hello. Today, Jillian is cared for in bed, as her
needs now mean she is most comfortable there.
More Than Just a
Bedroom
In Jillian’s
bedroom, an antique bureau from her previous home stands against one wall, its
surface covered in photographs of her family, captured moments holding much
meaning. She talks through the places they were taken, the names of her
siblings, children, children-in-law and grandchildren. One of these is a
silver-framed image from her wedding day, showing her and her husband, Bill,
standing hand in hand on the church steps.
On the opposite
wall, artwork sits alongside a framed record by Edward Elgar, one of her
favourite composers. A large mirror has been carefully positioned so that, from
her bed, she can see out through the window. It is here that her attention
often rests, watching birds move between rooftops and wires. Blue tits and
robins are some of her favourites.
By the door, a
small set of drawers holds a vase of fresh flowers, sent each week by her
daughter, who also calls every day – on this particular day, she is calling
from the Bahamas.
What Matters Most
When asked what
matters most to her today, her answer is simple: ‘Family.’ There is much love
behind the word. She continues, ‘I am very lucky. And they spoil me.’
When asked what
else is important to her, she shares, ‘It sounds ridiculous or silly, but one
of the most important things to me is being able to look through my mirror to
the window. I love to watch the birds flying around outside, and many of them
land on the wires and the roofs of the houses.’
One of her
favourite memories from the last few years, was when her son, Tim, took her for
a day out and they went to a field filled with sheep and lambs. ‘I love to sit
and watch them, it’s so lovely to see.’ When asked if these moments are so
special to her because of her childhood and growing up on farms she nods and
smiles, ‘Oh, definitely.’
Jillian likes to
spend time watching wildlife programmes on the television in her room, as well
as keeping up with politics and the news of the wider world.
Tim recently got
Jillian an iPad on a stand beside her bed and is going to download books onto
it, so she is able to read again more easily, by turning the pages with a
simple tap of the screen.
Of the people
around her each day, she speaks warmly. ‘The carers are so kind, and the girls
are very sweet. The boys are cheeky and teasing, which is good for me.’
Through Jillian’s
reflections, what stands out most is the importance of connection; to family,
to cherished memories, to nature, to books, and to keeping in contact with her
friends and loved ones. Now, more than ever, it is the simple things that continue
to bring comfort and meaning to her life.
Although there
are moments of frustration in no longer having the same physical freedom she
once did, there is also a sense of peace in the space around her. Surrounded by
familiar belongings, photographs, flowers, and the view from her window,
Jillian has created a sanctuary that still reflects the life she has lived and
the person she continues to be.
‘This is my
little home,’ she says. ‘I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else if I am in bed and
unable to move.’
