National Grief Awareness Week. The Grief That Starts Before Goodbye

Grief is not a single moment. It isn’t just the final breath, the last phone call, or the quiet closing of a door.  Grief can begin long before goodbye, long before we even have the words to name it.

For many, grief arrives as a slow unravelling, not a sudden strike, but a quiet, physical breaking that aches through the body long before the heart understands why. It comes in waves that feel confusing and lonely, the shock that something is changing, the denial that whispers maybe it’s not as bad as it seems, the anger that flares at the unfairness of it all, the bargaining with life, doctors, hope itself. Then come the heavy days of depression, the weary acceptance, and eventually, gently the integration, when grief becomes something we fold into our lives instead of fight against. These seven stages don’t follow rules or order. They loop, repeat, collide. Grief is messy because love is messy.

And nowhere is this more true than in dementia.

The grief of losing someone who is still here

When someone we love is living with a Dementia, we lose them in pieces.

The person we once knew, their stories, their jokes, the way they said our name, slowly fades away. You find yourself grieving a laugh that no longer comes, a conversation that now circles endlessly, the spark in their eyes that used to recognise you in an instant.

It is a grief that feels almost invisible, because the world often expects grief to follow death. But here, death has not come, only the quiet, painful vanishing of the person you remember. And that raises a question many carry in their hearts - is this grief any different from the grief that follows death?

In truth, it isn’t.

The pain is real. The loss is real. The longing is real.

It is grief in slow motion, stretched across months or years, demanding a different kind of strength, the strength to keep loving with your whole heart, even as the person you love fades before your eyes.

As National Grief Awareness Week approaches, it encourages us to recognise this quieter grief for what it is. The theme “Growing with Grief” reminds us that grief doesn’t fade just because someone is still here. Instead, we grow around the ache. We adjust our hearts, reshape our routines, and learn to love the person in front of us while mourning the person they used to be.

In the everyday moments, grief lies quietly

In social care, grief isn’t rare or loud, it lives quietly in the day-to-day. It appears in the trembling smile of a son who repeats himself again and again, trying to hold back the grief of knowing his Dad no longer remembers the world they once shared.  In the soft sigh of a wife watching the person she married drift further into a world she cannot enter.  In the long pause before a carer answers the same question again, and again, and again - with kindness, because they know it isn’t really the question that matters, but the reassurance behind it.

These moments rarely make headlines, but they shape the days of those who love, and those who care.

Within this grief, something else grows too.  A tenderness that wasn’t there before. A fierce patience. A love that holds on, even through the cracks and the hurt.

Families learn to hold on to the moments that are still left - a warm hand held tightly, a flicker of recognition, a shared song that somehow still reaches the heart. They are small moments, but they become everything.

You don’t have to carry grief alone

National Grief Awareness Week is a reminder that grief isn’t something we should carry alone. When we talk about it, it becomes a little lighter. Stories connect us. Sharing brings comfort.

The Good Grief Trust continues to shine a light for anyone walking through loss, whether that loss is sudden, expected, complicated, or stretched across years of dementia.  No one should feel isolated in their grief, especially when their heart feels fragile.

This week is a chance to reach out, to talk, to really listen, and to give your grief some room, not to fix it or make it disappear, but to let a little hope grow alongside it.

National Grief Awareness Week runs from 2nd–8th December 2025

 

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